Do you want to experience really great sex? It may be easier than you think. It may be as easy as focusing on your breath, and your breathing.
It's easy to get caught up in the idea that technique is the answer to better lovemaking - while one of the most simple and powerful tools for making sex great is overlooked.
It's called breathing.
Of course you breathe every moment of every day, but it's not likely that you put conscious attention on your breathing very often.
But if you want better sex, you'll want to put more attention on your breathing now and again. Lovers who breathe together, consciously, experience greater closeness and greater fulfillment in lovemaking.
While pleasuring techniques do enhance pleasure (and you want to be skilled at giving pleasure to your partner), pleasuring techniques will not deepen your connection and intimacy. Pleasuring techniques will only enhance pleasure.
And pleasure, contrary to what you might think, is not enough to make for great sex. (Women, especially, look to the quality of connection as a measure of what they consider highly satisfying, deeply fulfilling lovemaking.)
Even physical pleasure can become dull unless it's matched by something more in-depth. And that "something deeper" is found in bringing awareness to breath.
Focusing on your breath as part of your sexual practice will extend and expand your pleasure, diminish the possibility of premature ejaculation, enhance orgasm, and help you feel more deeply connected and alive with your partner.
The next time you want to make love, begin by laying side by side in a “spoon” position - one person's back to the other person's front.
In silence, allow your bodies to relax by noticing any tension in your feet and letting that tension go.
Then focus on and release the tension from your ankles and your calves, continuing up your body, until you've let go of as much tension as possible up to the crown of your head.
Stay fully present. You can close your eyes, but you want to be sure to remain awake and alert. Then focus on your breath.
Notice the pattern of your breathing, and then, gently, deepen your breath by breathing in through your nose and down to your belly.
Then pause, and gently use your stomach muscles to push the air out of your nose until your lungs are emptied. Then gently pause, and breathe in again, repeating this pattern.
Once you've become more conscious of your breath, begin to notice your partner's breath as their body presses against yours.
Then simply allow your breathing to come into sync with one another's. There's no need to force this to happen.
Just notice each other's breath, and allow your breath to adjust organically to your partner's. One of you may slow your breathing just a bit; the other may speed up just a bit; or both.
Once you are both breathing in sync, continue to breathe together for three to five minutes.
Allow yourselves to relax into each other, and observe what physical sensations and desires arise.
You may find yourself wanting to continue to hold one another and breath. You may experience a desire for tender physical intimacy.
Or you may discover a desire to ravage one another. Go with the flow, and enjoy.
You can do this breathing exercise often. Beginning every lovemaking session this way is not necessary.
After all, sometimes you just want to rip each other's clothes off and get down to business as quickly as possible.
But make sure to breathe together regularly, and your relationship is bound to deepen, and sex is bound to become so much better.
Lovemaking Sex Tips